Working Against Yourself – 5 Ways to Break the Trend

Just pondering over some random observations…

1. Economy-size not so economical.
You thought you were being so thrifty when you proudly brought home the 5 gallon bottle of shampoo. Turns out that’s just what the manufacturer wanted you to feel. But what did you do? You figured, since I have so much I can use as much as I want. You used more than you normally used and went through that 5 gallons at a rate much quicker than the regular size. You tell yourself that the family is growing and that MUST be why you’re going through it faster.
SOLUTION: Buy the economy size, but refill smaller bottles and use your normal portion.

2. Spaghetti sauce and pizza are NOT a commodity.
When is the last time you ate out or ordered for delivery? Chances are you weren’t bowled over with emotion over the food, but you were THINKING that you wanted something special. When you shop for the similar items for home use though, you go for the bargain. You bring it home and say, “well it’s just another meal to get us by.” You do that often enough and it breeds the “we should go out for something special” mentality. It’s a vicious cycle of scrimping and splurging that never seems to satisfy.
SOLUTION: Be discriminating in the food you prepare at home. Learn a few easy cooking skills to take you to the next level. Buy better quality foods to prepare. The BIG benefit is that family time becomes richer, not just another meal to get by.
3. Technology has passed you by.
Are you the type that thinks people who “google” in public should be arrested? Were you the last to know that your daughter had a boyfriend and dumped him already? Do you forward “cute and inspirational” emails about angels and friendship to your dwindling list of addresses? Do you still open the yellow pages to find a phone number, only to find it not listed?
SOLUTION: Quit fighting it. Predators will find you even if you are not that connected. Take charge of the information that is coming to you, through you and from you.

4. You start a business to start a business.
So many business failures come from people who thought they should be entrepreneurs but didn’t know what to sell, so they looked for business opportunities and jumped on the one that sounded lucrative.
SOLUTION: A business should be started based on a need that can be filled, a problem that can be solved and the knowledge that there are a ton of customers just waiting to buy your product or service. If not that, then why bother? It helps to discover what you’re good at, what you love and what and find ways to use that in your business.

5. The path of least resistance.

You always agree with the current flavor of causes. You are excited to jump on the bandwagon with your friends to agree with the “popular” causes of the times. At the same time, you tell people who don’t agree with you or want to engage in a real conversation that you don’t like to talk politics or religion. At the end of the day you may feel a range of empty, unfulfilled, angry, unfinished, frustrated, blah, numb or unproductive and you don’t know why.

SOLUTION: Studies show that standing up for what you TRULY believe in can have positive health effects. Engaging in real conversation (respectful of course), whether you agree or not, can strengthen relationships and provide deeper meaning to your life. Going even further…making life choices based on what you believe can deepen your sense of commitment. How do you know if you truly believe in something? Ask yourself this: would I stake my life on it’s veracity?

So from a little thing like shampoo to life-changing decisions, it truly is about the choices we make that can so greatly effect how hard the trip upstream can be.

Why Do you Do “That Thing You Do”

Listed below are 6 of the absolute lamest most ridiculous answers I’ve heard to the question: “Why do you do (the things you do)?”

1. We’ve always done it that way.
2. It feels good.
3. We need a “change”.
4. I was in a hurry or there was no time to think.
5. It was because I was raised that way.
6. I deserve it or I deserve better.

That’s it. That’s all I have to say on the subject. Hopefully it sparked some thought.

reBlog from marketingconversation.com: The Recession and Personal Integrity — How are you treating people that can do nothing for you?

I found this fascinating quote today:

• I have some in my circle that have found the recession to be a boom for them.  They still have jobs or businesses, and some are even doing better than prior to 2007.  This group’s talk at social gatherings is full of excitement over all the bargains out there in stocks, vacations, vacation or investment property, etc.  They can’t wait to tell you about the great deal they just got on the new Lexus SUV Hybrid or the sofa-size gas bar-be-que they just bought.  They post on Facebook how wonderful their life is or on LinkedIn how wonderful their business is going.  Or, they post how much they hate their job (which of course seems to be a recession-proof position) or the last business meeting they felt forced to endure at work.  (If I see one more FB post about how much those not affected by the recession hate Mondays or can’t wait for Friday to get here on Tuesday, I am going to scream.)  I am a big believer in creating and living in prosperity and wish nothing but success for all people.  Yet, I notice this group seems to have not received the internal memo that many are struggling, conspicuous consumption may not be in the best taste right now, and that their FB comments in general seem a bit insensitive to the times — or at least they do to me.  I have found this group in my circle to be quite self-absorbed actually.  Were they always like this, or am I just seeing it for the first time?  With this realization, I’m forced to ask myself – In my very best financial years am I like this?  This group tells me, yes, they have been getting tons of networking emails and calls lately from laid-off friends, but they don’t really seem to understand or emphasize much with their plight.  Some may make a call or two on behalf of their closest friends, but many tell me they find these calls awkward and are tired of dealing with them.  I’m sure some in this group in general are trying to help those that can do nothing for them, but I’m not seeing a lot of that personally.  I find the ones that are volunteering to help others are simply those that have always volunteered.
• I have some in my circle that still have their jobs for now or are hanging on to their businesses by a thread.  The majority of this group seems scared — very scared. Some in this group dominate every conversation with how terrible it is as misery loves company, and they feel they are next to lose their job or to fail.  Some seem stuck in fear and are just saving every penny they can right now to prepare for what they say they know is without a doubt coming.  Some are preparing for what they see as their pending unemployment by applying for every job they can right now.  They are the ones making the networking calls for their own survival and see themselves as being realistic and proactive.  They certainly are able to understand and emphasize with the recession misfortunate around them personally.  I’m noticing many in this group are happy to help those that are looking for employment.  They are willingly taking the “can you help me” calls from people without looking at it as an awkward call.  I’m also noticing though this helpfulness extends the most to those that call not looking for what would be their own specific job title.  I’m finding a lot from this group are volunteering more at their church and other charitable foundations or volunteering for the first time.  Many, but not all, seem to be doing a lot to help those that can not do anything for them.
• And as I mentioned earlier, I have some in my circle that have been unemployed for quite a while now and some that are facing the dire consequences of vanished resources.  The majority of this group seems to fall into one of two extremes — they seem either completely stuck and legitimately don’t know what to do or where to turn, or they seem unexplainably calm with a knowing that they can get through anything even foreclosure or bankruptcy if it comes to this.   This group of course genuinely understands and has empathy for those affected by the recession, for they are living the heaviest afflictions of the recession.  I find most in this group have not been willing to talk about their exact circumstances openly due to pride and embarrassment.  I find the openness to admit severe hardship depends on their economic status prior to the recession’s affect on them.  My working class circle talk more openly about it than my middle or executive class circle.  I think this is because they don’t equate hardship and loss with failure as much.  Ironically, this group, at any economic status, who has the most limited financial resources and less helpful network resources now seems to be the most open to helping those that can do nothing for them.  Case in point — I have a single mother friend who went from owning her own popular Bar & Grill to losing her business in 2008 due to both the new Illinois smoking ban and the economic downturn to being on food stamps and facing foreclosure in 2009.  Another single mother friend of mine who has been struggling with her normal 45 hour work week being cut to 25 hours shared with me that she would not be able to feed her kids properly except for the first friend sharing her food stamp card with her to buy groceries the last few months.  This friend does not qualify for food stamps even with the reduced hours.  Without any judgment on the legality of it, I was so completely touched by this act of generosity given by one hardest hit by the recession to another that could do nothing for them.

marketingconversation.com, The Recession and Personal Integrity — How are you treating people that can do nothing for you?, Oct 2009

You should read the whole article.

Learning from Economic Uncertainty

The nation…still on the edge of its seat…hoping for that “change you can believe in” to be just around the corner. Oh, there has been “change” alright.

Meanwhile, the sins of our past have come back to bite us. Poor financial decisions…buying a house with no money down, taking out that loan for a vacation, splurging on an extra special Christmas gift…all because we convinced ourselves (or let someone else convince us) that we needed it to be happy. If we’re honest, nobody to blame but ourselves. And now, we don’t want to pay the piper. We want the government to come along and be our knight in shining armor, whisking away our debt worries with a shiny new stimulus check or a government program. Are we really that ignorant or devoid of ethics to think that it’s okay to let someone else pay the price for our foolish decisions? Seems like it. At least half the country is.

The one thing to be learned by the current state of the economy is that nothing on this earth, no NOTHING is permanent and nothing stays the same…not your job, not your home, not your government, not technology, and especially not your understanding of things.

What positives then can come from such a seemingly gloomy forecast?
Nothing on this earth, no NOTHING is permanent and nothing stays the same…not your job, not your home, not your government, not technology, and especially not your understanding of things.

Career Workshop on June 3rd in Sandpoint, ID

Feel desperate, burnt out on the job search or wondering where to turn next?

On Wednesday, June 3rd, at First Christian Church, I will be presenting a FREE Career Workshop for those seeking employment encouragement. The workshop will be from 9am until 2pm. Bring a brown bag lunch.

First Christian Church is located at 201 N. Division Ave. Sandpoint, ID. If you’d like to sign up ahead of time, please call 208.263.4818.

We’ll be offering expert resume and cover letter tips, advice on getting connected to recruiters, networking and interviewing. You also get one on one encouragement at whatever stage you are in the unemployment/employment process.

Just need to get out of the house and meet with people who are going through the same thing? Come join us! Everyone who attends will gain something meaningful from the experience.

Lies We Bought, Hook, Line & Sinker

Go ahead, you deserve it.

If you dream it, you can live it.

Everyone deserves an equal chance at success.

Disneyland, the happiest place on earth.

If everyone else is doing it, it’s okay.

If I’m a good person, that’s all that matters.

All roads lead to God.

It doesn’t matter what you believe, as long as you believe something.

God helps those who help themselves.

People are basically good by nature.

As long as I’m not hurting anyone else, it’s okay.

God doesn’t care about my problems.

I’m not as bad as him/her.

Do what feels good.

It’s my life, I have the right to do with it what I please.

This is the worst economic crisis in American history.

We have to bail them out. We can’t let them fail.

Good things come to those who wait.

You need to earn your way into God’s good graces.

Breaking some of the 10 commandments is worse than others.

Be good to yourself.

Believe in yourself.

Before you can love others you have to love yourself.

Courage

Courage stands behind his convictions even when it costs him (money, fame, popularity, reputation, friendships, family). Cowardice desperately wants everyone else to believe what he believes in order to justify his behaviors and attitudes. It costs him nothing.
Courage doesn’t change his mind because everyone else does. Courage doesn’t get angry or spew hatred when other people don’t believe what he stands for. Many times he stands alone, patiently waiting for people’s hearts to change, knowing it is not his place to change them. Courage knows that he may stand alone for a long time…quite possibly a lifetime. Courage does not fear standing alone, because he knows who stands behind him.

Reading Good…Listening Better

Okay, so you are gonna find scads of statistics that will tell you that reading to your kids will help them in life. I have no argument with that. I do have an idea though, that in our quest to bring up the brightest, most literate children, we may have neglected to ask ourselves one critical question. What would I rather my child be: a good reader or fully secure?

What makes me question the value of reading to my kids? Not the act itself, but the heart with which I approach it. Usually someone else in my house initiates the need for read-to-me-time. Does that sound familiar? Usually, it’s at bedtime (and I’M the one ready for bed). We open the book, and I may as well be having dental work done, with the enthusiasm I put forth, hoping every minute that someone will fall asleep before I turn the page…Usually, it’s me…or I wind up dozing, while uttering nonsensical words until I can’t stand it any longer and have to put the book down in desperate surrender to sleep. Hardly the heartwarming picture I want my kids to remember when they tell the tales of Nana to their kids.

So given my anguish over my sorrowful reading record, I came up with a solution that allowed for meaningful and two way interaction at bedtime. Games. Not boardgames. Listening games. Games that require us to listen and pay attention to one another. Games like “the gross foods game”, where we each make up the grossest combination of food imaginable and then we both cringe and go “ewww”. Or the “ABC game”, where each person takes turns naming the next item with the next letter of the alphabet, then reciting all previous things named in alphabetical order. My visually gifted son made up his own game when he was little: “memory tic-tac-toe”. We layed in the dark while he was drifting off to sleep, playing tic-tac-toe on an imaginary board in front of us, remembering where each had nade their mark by verbal description.

If our games sound too lame, crude, or cerebral for you, that’s okay. Part of the fun of these games are that they are made up by your or your kids and become part of a tradition that allows them to feel a sense of security and allows you the chance to give them the undivided attention that they crave.

For more adventures in parenting, visit: http://web.me.com/heneisecreative/tlbtwc/blog.html

15 ways to NOT find a job.

1. Don’t network. Be skeptical of social media and all the bad things that can happen if someone sees your name online.

2. Complain about how hard it is to find a job.

3. Take 3 hour naps every day.

4. Send hundreds of resumes in the mail: “to whom it may concern”.

5. Wonder whether it’s a good idea to do projects initiated by an interviewer.

6. Search for jobs by your last job title only.

7. Insist upon a salary equaling exactly what you made on your last job, and no less.

8. Trash talk your former employer to anyone and everyone who will listen. Make sure to post comments online too.

9. Don’t talk with former colleagues.

10. Screen all of your calls, letting voicemail kick-in.

11. Only respond to job search results generated by CareerBuilder.com.

12. Don’t talk to friends about your situation–it’s your little secret.

13. Give up after 2 months, life is too hard.

14. Insist that it’s someone else’s fault that you are not getting interviewed, call backs, hired.

15. Look for a job when it fits into your schedule.

You Have to Ask Yourself…

• If the government requires more care and feeding–and more of my income–than my children, then why can’t I claim it as a dependent on my income tax return?

• Is is okay that the government gets to spend more than 20-30+% of my income and not be held accountable? If my child stole from me, would I just look the other way and say “oh well”? So why is it okay for the government to do it?

• Why have we become so enamored with big government and less income?

• Why has popularity become more important than truth?

• Why have feelings replaced common sense, good judgment and moral values?

• Why has the earth itself become more precious than its future inhabitants?

• Why does the color of a man’s skin matter more than his character and conviction?

• What have I compromised on because it was the path of least resistance?